Loving Life and Step out from Confrot Zone

Life is beautiful; life is challenging; life is short. Each of us will have a very different experience of life but many of us will ask the same questions: What is the meaning of life? Will my life have meant anything after I'm gone? Will I even be remembered?

Live every day on a fresh new start. Don’t be held back by what happened yesterday, the day before, the week before, the year before, and so on.

Be true to who you are. Stop trying to please other people or be someone else. It’s better to be an original version of yourself than an exact duplicate of someone else.

Quit complaining. Don’t be like the howling dog, always howling and never doing anything. Stop complaining about your problems and work on them instead.

Be proactive. Stop waiting for others around you to do something and take action yourself instead.

Rather than think “what if”, think “next time”. Don’t think about things you can’t change (namely what has happened and thoughts of other people) or unhappy things because these are disempowering. Instead focus on the things you can action upon. That’s the most constructive thing you can do in any situation.

Create your own opportunities. You can wait for opportunities to drop in life. Or, you can go out there and create your own opportunities. The latter is definite and much more empowering.

Be committed to your growth. In the Map of Consciousness, there are 17 levels of consciousness – from Shame to Enlightenment. The higher level of consciousness you are in, the richer your life experience. Achieving higher consciousness comes from your commitment to growth.

Face your fears. But do it in small steps.

This is one of the best ways to overcome fears and get out of your comfort zone. What holds us back in our zone of comfort is often a fear or that facing that fear straight on might be overwhelming. This is a solution to those two problems. It allows you to stretch your comfort zone slowly making it less uncomfortable and frightening.
If you’re for instance nervous socially you might not feel able to ask people out on dates right away. The fear of being rejected and that others might think less of you if you get turned down can make many of us feel unable to ask the question.
So you take small steps instead. Steps like first just saying hi to people. Or starting to talk more to people online via forums and Instant Messaging. And then trying to be more involved in conversations at work or in school to exercise your conversation-muscles.
I guess one could say that you gradually de-sensitize yourself to social situations or whatever you are afraid of. Or, seeing it in a more motivating light, that you are building courage and expanding your comfort zone in this part of your life (which is something that often seeps over to other areas of life too.)
So, identify your fear. Then make a plan with some smaller steps you can take to gradually lessen your discomfort.

Make a new acquaintance.

This will expose your to new experiences, opinions and interests. And it’s not just about meeting new people the usual way. Try just picking up a biography about someone you know nothing about. Start reading a book from a writer you haven’t read before. Read about a random topic at Wikipedia. Or add an unexpected RSS-feed about something you normally never read about.

Take a friend with you.

In general, it’s often easier to not go it alone. And this applies to many situations. Including when you are going for the emotional bungee jump that getting out of your comfort zone can be.

I’d say this probably the most popular way to get yourself out of comfort zones. If you are going to a party where you know few people then it may be easier to bring a friend. If you have decided to start going to the gym it might be easier to actually get going and keeping going there every week if you have a gym-partner.

However, there are potential downsides to bringing friends too. If you are at the party with your friend then you might not meet and get to know that many new people. If you are going to the gym with a partner it might lead to the two of you talking and focusing less on getting a great workout.

Educate yourself.

Your comfort zone might be protecting your from imaginary dangers. Maybe things aren’t as difficult or scary as you imagine? Do a bit of research. Getting some good information can dissipate quite a bit of your fear and nervousness.

Do a bit of Goggling. Read books and blogs. Ask someone who has been there before. By reading/hearing about what others that have done the same thing you are about to do saw, heard, felt and did you can not only lessen negative feelings but also get some very valuable and practical tips.

Awash your mind with positive memories.

Realise it can be fun to get out of your comfort zone despite what your mind and feelings might be telling you before you get started. Think back to the previous times when you have broken out of your comfort zone. Focus on the positive memories, when you got out there, when you took a chance. And it wasn’t so bad, it was actually fun and exciting and something new to you.

A lot of times we automatically play back our negative experiences – or negative interpretations of events – in our minds before we are about to do something. And we forget about the positive memories and our previous, positive achievements. Avoid that trap. Let the good memories flow through your mind instead and let things become easier.

Plus-Fab- Not just the right size

A lot of women in South Africa struggle with issues of identity and beauty - women are dying to be thin and going to extremes in an attempt to achieve the impossible standards of beauty that exist globally -  not Ms. Ouma Tema.  This passionate and dynamic business woman has taken it upon herself to help South Africans redefine their ideas of beauty by making a BOLD statement.  Inspired by the story of iconic South African women such as Saartjie Baartman, who were always shunned upon and even ostracized because their physical stature does not conform with the norm, Ouma Tema wants to take

South African fashion industry by storm by targeting woman who are plus sized and are not really given options to fit their lifestyle where fashion is concerned. “It’s been a struggle for me as a plus sized woman to find sophisticated and fashionable clothes in plus size stores that are available in SA this is why I made it my mission to create a range of clothing that will enhance a plus size woman’s figure.Plus-Fab *not just the right size* cater to the more voluptuous women. 

We created a range of sophisticated, beautifully crafted, fashion forward shapely clothing to make plus size women feel beautiful, comfortable and on trend with the latest fashions. With this brand we hope to bring out the fashionista in every plus size women by offering clothes that accentuate as opposed to cover up.

NB: We offer ready to wear collection and custom made outfits for special occasions (wedding, Durban July, The Met, Polo events, Awards shows, Graduations, cocktail, birthday parties THE WORKS!!!!

 Plus-Fab is based in Pretoria
Ms Ayanda (Assistant) @ 076 4242 314/012 751 4037
Ayanda@plus-fab.com
Ms Leago (intern) @ 082 551 4747/012 751 4037
Leago@plus-fab.com
Or Ms Ouma Tema

Blog: www.plusfab.blogspot.com /www.plus-fab.com
Like our Facebook page: ?Ouma Tema at Plus Fab?
Follow Ouma on Twitter: @oumatema

Cartoon by Bethuel Mangena

TILL DEATH DO US PARTVolume 100, Tuesday, 23 January 2011

Romans 7:2 - "For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage."

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I spent the past weekend in Maseru. I was attending a funeral of a father of a dear friend of mine. His father passed on at the age of 67. He had been married to his wife for over 40 years. On Friday night there were prayers at the home and my wife and I attended. After the service, my friend invited to pass our condolences to his mother. We knelt next to her as she was seated right in front of the casket of her late husband. We did not have words to say. As we knelt, she touched both our hands and began to speak. We listened whole heartedly to her words. What came out of her mouth stunned us.

She said to us “My children, as you can see I am seated in front of a casket of my late husband. I am sad yes, but I am also grateful that I honored my vows. We made vows to each other that only death will separate us. We stuck it out together for over forty years and today we are separated by death. I urge you my children to hold on to one another. There is no better feeling one gets than to see that they stood by their vows until the end. So, please take a leaf from my life and do the same. I know it is not easy, but try.

God will help you if you ask him”. My wife and I were speechless. Here was a mother who had lost her life partner and instead of receiving from us, there she was giving to us. Instead of rolling in her sorrow, she was self less and used her situation to encourage and empower young people like us to follow her great example. By the time we left her, our hearts were so full of emotion. We just did not know how to respond. We had never come across anything like this before. We had never experienced such selflessness at such a moment of grief.

When we got to our hotel room we both spoke about it and made a pact that we will pray and ask God to bring about such a sorrowful yet joyous experience in our lives. We recommitted ourselves to our vows and promised each other that until death do us part. We woke up on Saturday and attended a funeral of a warrior of a dad. We were in awe right through the service at how much God had blessed this man and his family.

His children did an outstanding job to celebrate his life through a funeral service that was so much organized and full of great narrations from people of all walks about a life well lived. My wife and I left for our home much more empowered than we had arrived. We left full of hope, full of optimism that during the days and times that we live in it is still possible to honour your vows and stay with your marital partner until the end.

To the Ralebitso family, thank you for being such a great example to us on how a family should be. Thank you Mama for your words of wisdom. In your time of sorrow, you chose to give. The lessons you gave us are much greater than the theory we had in our heads on marriage. You used yourself as a living example that it possible and that it is doable. May our heavenly father give you and your family comfort. May he give you strength to move on. May he keep your family together. May his angels ever dwell with you until the end of time. Re a leboga.

I pray that those of you who are married who get to read this bulletin find it in your hearts to recommit to your spouses and make a new promise that ‘till death do you part’. With God on your side, it is possible. Happy and blessed marriage to all!

God is good all the time and all the time God is good!

Simphiwe Mdlalose
23 January 2012

Breath of Inspiration by TJ Malamule

                                                

Author: TJ Malamule

Breath of inspiration is a book that will help you to understand your unlimited power to bring you solution in any situation you might face.

Key Topics discussed in the book include:

·        When life gives you a lemon….

·        Identity

·        Flying beyond people’s opinions

·        When heart broken

·        My Mother my heroin

You just about to be inspired before you expired

Designed by Victor Chauke

Recreate Yourself & Your Life

Self creation is about creating yourself all over again. Starting fresh and rebuilding yourself to become the very best you, you've ever imagined. It's about becoming the person you want to be and creating a life that reflects that vision. You can't really do this until you have the ground work established. What is the ground work? Taking Ownership, Self Awareness and Self Acceptance.

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” - Henry David Thoreau

Taking Ownership

You cannot create yourself and your life anew without taking personal responsibility for who and where you are right now. I do not mean responsibility in a sense of blame or judgment, but responsibility so far as ownership and control.

For many, it is a major paradigm shift when they begin to see themselves and everything in their lives as a direct result of themselves. The idea that we alone create who we are can be overwhelming, particularly if you associate that responsibility with guilt, blame or shame. Taking ownership isn't about judging your life, but simply seeing what's there and knowing your part in it all. This is not about finding fault, making judgments of right or wrong, good or bad, but simply one of ownership.

Yes, other people and events do have influence on our lives, but it is us, and us alone who determine which influences to emphasis, what meaning we give to those influences, and what beliefs we'll create based on those influences.

You are responsible for your beliefs.
You are responsible for your thoughts.
You are responsible for your feelings.
You are responsible for your actions.

I remember a story I heard about a father and his son. The father wanted to get some paperwork done before he took his son to the park. To keep his son occupied until he finished his work, he tore a picture of the world out of a magazine, and then tore it into little pieces. He told his son when he had finished putting the puzzle together; they would go to the park. Expecting this to take his son quite some time to accomplish, he was surprised when his son returned shortly thereafter with the completed puzzle. The father asked his son, “how were you able to finish the puzzle so quickly?” His son answered him saying “there’s a picture of a man on the other side, and when I put the man together, the pieces of the world just fell into place.”

So to put yourself together first. Become clear about who you really are. Uncover the enormous warehouse of beliefs you've acquired from other people and our culture and challenge those beliefs. Transform your self-doubt into acceptance, your self-pity into self-actualization, your anxiety into peace, your confusion into happiness, and your fears into love. The first step is knowing what you want to be, do and have.

“This life is yours. Take the power to control your own life. No one else can do it for you. Take the power to make your life happy.” - Susan Polis Schutz

Who Am I, giving your life a meaning

Life is beautiful; life is challenging; life is short. Each of us will have a very different experience of life but many of us will ask the same questions: What is the meaning of life? Will my life have meant anything after I'm gone? Will I even be remembered. The irony is that the more you seek to identify who you are, the more fragile you are likely to feel about. Our identity should be seen as an ongoing process.
Rather than a static snapshot, we should embrace a flowing sense of self, whereby we are perpetually re-framing, re-organizing, re-thinking and re-considering ourselves. Sometimes we don't realize that one person can really make a difference. We can inspire the people around us just by making right choices. In order to find meaning for your life, you have to have a plan, a life plan. You wouldn't search for buried treasure or drive across the country without a map. You wouldn't start a business without a plan so why go through life without a plan?