Fanancial & Personal Freedom

1.      Taking Back your freedom

“If you would be wealthy, think of saving as well as getting”

There is no shortcut to personal and financial. Getting rich entails long years of discipline, hard work,

thrift, and wise use of resources. Those who get rich quick usually do so because: they won a million

dollars on lottery; duped other people in a scam; or inherited a fortune from a wealthy father or

relative.

But if we go back tο the rοοt οf the issue, it may be impοrtant tο ask, “Why are sοme peοple pοοr?”

One οf the main reasοns why many peοple are pοοr οr remain far frοm becοming rich is encapsulated

in twο wοrds: financial mismanagement. Financial mismanagement is abοut squandering οne's

resοurce οn things οr activities that dο nοt bear fruit οr result in additiοnal incοme. Mismanagement οf

finances is alsο οne οf the cοmmοn causes οf marital trοuble and a sοurce οf enοrmοus stress and

anxiety in peοple.

Sο many peοple have fallen intο the debt trap and nοw feel tοtally οut οf cοntrοl οf their life and

finances.

Sο what can the average persοn dο tο better manage his οr her finances? Yοu dο nοt have tο be an

ecοnοmics graduate οr a finance guru tο get οut οf debt and stοp the cycle οf living frοm paycheck tο

paycheck. Tο get back οn track in terms οf yοur mοney and investments, cοnsider the fοllοwing

suggestiοns:

- Eliminate Yοur Debts, Avοid Unnecessary Spending

- Have an Emergency Accοunt

- Check Out Yοur Cοmpany's Retirement Plan

- Pensiοn fοr the Self-Emplοyed

-. Invest Yοur Mοney.

Indeed, there is nο shοrtcut tο wealth. Living the gοοd life entails planning, setting gοals, discipline, a

great deal οf sacrifice. Getting rid οf wοrry and anxiety attacks οver financial difficulties is nοt an

impοssible task. When yοu save and invest wisely, yοu will be able tο prepare the tοugh times that are

sure tο cοme; and yοu can have enοugh tο enjοy life, which is the reasοn why we need tο take cοntrοl

οf οur finances.

2. Take charge if your Soul Lifestyle

Today, we tend to view the world in which we live from mechanistic, scientific, analytical and physical

perspectives. When we do this, we engage our senses without involving the soul. We therefore remain

on the surface of cause and effect relationships, and give away the power of controlling our own lives

and loves to external forces. We thus find ourselves increasingly disconnected from the world and

others, and increasingly afraid of close encounters and intimate connections.

Knowing ourselves is the foundation to understanding what we do, why we do it, and how to change.

It is not possible to resolve our problems or issues in life if we do not know who we are, as both

personality and soul. The more we know ourselves at all levels, the less we will be controlled by our

lower nature and the less we will project aspects of our own unconsciousness onto others.

Self-knowledge is the basis of all knowledge and the foundation for being able to be of true value to

others.

Soul lifestyle expresses who we are in a way that contributes to what we are part of. We must express

who we are as a personality in a way that benefits others around us. That involves using our abilities,

our skills, our talents and anything that we have as a physical, emotional and mental being. Doing so

fulfills our soul purpose.

The purposes of our soul and personality are unique ways we participate in the grander scheme of life.

You will indentify your:

Turning Crisis into Opportunity

1.   Turning Crisis into Opportunity

Crises come into our lives, no matter how we may try to avoid them. They are troubling, unwanted experiences or events that take us out way out of our comfort zone. Typically, crises result in some type of loss. The very nature of crisis is antithetical to our core values of certainty and predictability as they vanish in an instant.

We desperately try to restore order to our lives, as chaos seems to prevail. Yet, if we learn to reframe how we see crisis, we might actually take advantage of it. There is the potential for alchemy as the crisis unfolds into a gain, provided we learn to stop resisting the unwanted change.

The crisis may be of a financial, relationship, health or spiritual nature. Those crises that are internally driven tend to be relational, psychological or emotional. Ordinarily, we try to avoid these upsets as best we can. Yet, upheavals are at times leveled upon us and may not be of our making. We may feel like victims of the circumstances, as we struggle to hold on to life as we knew it.

Typically, personal change requires our motivation and intention to serve as the catalyst to power the transition. Crisis, on the other hand, removes the self-motivating requirement as it places us squarely outside of our familiar zone. The crisis literally removes the boundaries that have circumscribed us. It is as if a tornado has swept in, and when we open our eyes, everything has changed. The maelstrom places us well beyond the bounds of the known. We typically find ourselves wanting desperately to get back inside the comfort of the known. But the crisis precludes that option. There is no going back. But that is where the opportunity lies.

Breaking Free 

Growth and fundamental levels of change only tend to occur when we are out of our comfort zone. We can refer to this as being far from equilibrium, where certainty and predictability no longer reign supreme. So we might look at the crisis as a blessing in disguise, albeit an unwanted one.

Steve Jobs might have felt self-defeated and victimized himself after he was fired from Apple many years ago. He chose otherwise. After his dismissal, he grasped crisis by the horns, seeing opportunity where others did not. He went on to lead a small animation company and turn it into the juggernaut that is now Pixar. When The Walt Disney Company bought Pixar in 2006, Jobs immediately became the largest shareholder in Disney. The moral of the story is unwanted change happens; look beyond it and embrace the discomfort.

The crisis is but a snapshot of a moment in time, and one we’d prefer to avoid. But to achieve self-empowerment requires looking beyond that snapshot and envisioning what door of potential has just flung open.

The individual whose spouse initiated divorce or left them for another person feels betrayed and perhaps heartsick. After a time though, they may in fact come to feel thankful to be freed from an unworthy and inauthentic relationship. This is particularly true if they evolve through the loss and benefit from a new and healthier relationship.

I fervently believe that every crisis presents an opportunity. Crisis and opportunity are merely differing aspects of the process. Do we choose to focus on the crisis and freeze in fear, or do we inquire as what the opportunity may be? Let’s take a deeper look at the phenomena of crisis.

Where Is the Opportunity? 

Let’s delve a bit deeper into the opportunity that prevails through these hardships. Crisis is defined in Webster’s Dictionary as: “A crucial or decisive point or situation; a turning point.” If we focus on the phrase “turning point,” we might ask ourselves, “Toward where are we turning?” It is in this non-reactive contemplation that we may elect to seek opportunity. This potentiality becomes obscured when we are mired in the loss of the familiar as opposed to venturing into the new. This tipping point is precisely where transformation occurs.

Do we gaze into the unfolding potential of change, or do we focus on the loss of the familiar? Your answer reveals your relationship between loss and opportunity. Ultimately the question is whether we choose to freeze in the panic of the unfamiliar or we seek to opportunize the new territory that’s unfolding for us. The former presents anxiety and retreat, the latter evokes growth. Release your hold on loss and embrace your relationship with opportunity. They are inversely correlated.

The only constant in the universe is flow. What we call crisis is simply the occurrence of change. We are not the masters of change, and if we release our need to control it, we can ride the waves of change and often turn it into opportunity.

2.   Doing your best in life does mean being a perfectionist

Is it always a good idea to do the best you can do? Doing the best you can sets up a never-ending competition within one's own psyche. Competition has its place in our culture, but can you imagine never getting a time out from competing? People with such tendencies incline toward being perfectionists, and perfectionists are rarely present, as they ruminate the past and worry about the future.

Bottom of Form

This man's wife often complained about his not being emotionally available, and we can readily imagine the impact that his being wed to doing his best might have on his marriage. In fact, I'd argue his was more wed to this compulsion than to his wife.

I am not proposing that we shouldn't selectively choose endeavors in which we really might try our hardest. Selectively doing your best makes sense. But proclaiming it as our mantra makes life look like a runaway competition. I believe that if we integrate the wish "I want to be present" alongside  "I want to do my best," we'd begin to enjoy a more balanced life. And when we do choose to proclaim that we did our best, we should truly mean it.

What about Fun?

I have encountered so many people who feel that their performance overarches their enjoyment, particularly in sports. When I was a child, our engagement in athletics was primarily for recreational purposes. The goal was both athletic and fun.  Excelling at the sports wasn't necessarily more important than enjoying the game.

Now, many people tell me that they won't participate in a sport unless they can excel. When did performance become more valued than having fun? I play golf a few times a year with some good friends. I'm mediocre at best as a golfer, but I delight in the fun and the relief from everyday pressures that it offers. I couldn't imagine enjoying the game if I had to be good at it. Why do we have to be good? Our cultural penchant for winning, excellence, and maximum performance drives us into a neurotic addiction to self-measurement.

I was recently having a conversation with a young man who was a seeded tennis player. After a while, I came to inquire about his interest in other sports. As we talked further it became very evident that he would only engage in activities in which he excelled. I asked him why that was so and he seemed taken aback by my question. It was nonsensical to him to play at a sport at which he wasn't superlative. He protested, "What would be the point?" "To have fun," I retorted. He stated that having fun at something wasn't his goal; excelling was. I began to see his point. His priority was in excelling, not in enjoying himself.

The word "play" shouldn't appear in front of the sport for him, as in "playing" tennis. He had to be the best. This activity had little to do with play. I began to consider that, as a culture, we might be losing our ability to play as we subordinate it to winning and excelling. How might that affect our well being?  The absence of play sounds rather depressing doesn't it?

I have never been an accomplished athlete, but I have had immeasurable joy and treasured memories from the pure enjoyment of play. If while playing at a sport I was busily judging whether I were good enough to play, I'd never be present for the bliss of the experience. I have a treasure trove of cherished memories from playing baseball as a boy and young adult. My joy was derived from being in the process of play, trying to win, the camaraderie and spirited engagement with my teammates. We all want to do well, and most of us want to be the best - that's quite natural. But to refuse to participate because you're not top tier is quite sad.

I see our culture moving inexorably in this direction, and it screams to me in alarm that we are heading into a very dysfunctional area. I fear that our society is falling into a pathological condition when high levels of performance become the goal, and simple playful pleasure is no longer desirable, let alone permissible. A recent article in Scientific Mind suggests that the emotional and psychological well being of a person might well correlate with how much free play they had in their childhood. If this is valid, we are in deep trouble. And we are perhaps setting up an abusive deprivation of fun for our children.

The current generation of children and adolescents are deprived of play. Their experience of what should be play becomes more work, as it is over-organized, scheduled and ultimately graded upon performance. The absence of play in a child's life is somewhat cruel. To rob our children of being children - as we propel them toward the cultural edict of excellence - demands some serious reconsideration.

Having to do your best implies that you are suffering from a compulsion. In this case, you aren't acting from free will, but from the compulsion. Trying to do your best selectively and with discrimination is laudable and leaves you in charge of your experience. Freeing yourself from compulsion is necessary to enable this shift.

How to create a healthy, loving relationship?

Adopt a Cooperative Mindset

It would be great if couples never disagreed; but conflict is present in every romantic relationship.  The trick to maintaining a healthy relationship is to approach conflict using a cooperative mindset.

Most couples approach conflict using a competitive mindset - employing a "you versus me" mentality.  "I want to get my way, but at your expense." 

By comparison, a cooperative mindset involves couples viewing conflict from a different frame of reference - "it's us versus the problem."  "We're on the same team, trying to work together to solve this problem."   

Using a cooperative mindset provides many advantages.  By framing the issue as "our" problem, couples are less likely to personalize the issue at hand, they are less likely to assign blame, and they are less likely to attack each other.  A cooperative mindset also allows couples to see the problem from a more objective point of view - from a distance where creative solutions to problems are more likely to be found. 

For example, many couples argue over finances using a competitive approach.  Such conversations often include displays of anger, personal attacks, and attempts to control each other.  On the other hand, by using a cooperative mindset the problem gets reframed:  "How can we work together to resolve our financial disagreements?" "What is causing us to argue and what can we do about it?" "What steps can we both take to solve this problem?"  Ultimately, the goal is to find solutions that work best for everyone. 

Adopting a cooperative mindset does not guarantee that every problem can be happily solved.  But using a cooperative approach will create the least amount of damage to a relationship when disputes arise.  And most couples, who use such an approach, report feeling more connected closes and understood.

Express Negative Feelings Effectively

Having negative feelings about something a partner has done is a fact of life.  How those feelings get expressed is what matters the most. 
If you are in a close relationship, eventually your spouse or partner will act in a way that makes you upset (more likely, this happens a lot).  Typically, when people get upset by something their partner has done, they try to get their partner to stop doing it.  This makes perfect sense.  Unfortunately, this approach often creates more problems than good. 
For the most part, when people are upset, they try to control their partner's behavior by telling a partner what to do, by being critical, displaying anger, yelling, pouting, sulking, giving the silent treatment... you get the idea.  The problem with this approach is that it creates a defensive response.  When people feel like they are being criticized or told what to do, they fight back.  Suddenly, a small problem turns into something much larger - now both sides are on the attack. 
Since trying to control a partner's behavior does not work, what is one supposed to do?
The best way to solve these types of problems is by learning how to express one's feelings about the situation without attacking a partner in the process.  If you can learn how to express what you're feeling, without trying to assign blame or dictate an outcome, your relationship will be better off in the long run. 
For example, if your spouse is spending too much time with an ex, you could tell him or her to stop it (this is likely to cause a fight).  Or you could talk about how it makes you feel.  "I feel uncomfortable, concerned, worried... when you spend time with your ex.  Can we talk about how I am feeling?"  
If you can focus on your feelings, and not your partner's actions, several things are likely to happen.  First, your feelings about the situation are likely to become less intense - feelings tend to fade when people talk about them.  Second, by talking about your feelings, your partner is more likely to see the situation from your perspective and come up with a solution on their own.  Finally, talking about feelings in a non-hostile manner helps couples grow closer and feel more connected. 

Encourage Conversation

Multitasking has become a way of life.  Rarely do people focus on doing one thing at a time, especially when it comes to talking with their spouse or partner. 
Think about it for a moment.  What were you doing the last time you talked to your spouse?  Were you working, watching tv, sending an e-mail, or reading a text message? 
The problem with multitasking, when talking to someone you love, is that it limits your ability to focus on what's being said.  Even if you have good intentions, the fact that you are distracted gets communicated nonverbally, and it sends a very powerful message - "I'm not really paying attention." 
And when partners realize that they are not being listened to they either get upset or they stop talking.  For example, asking a spouse how their day was while checking your BlackBerry usually results in a minimal response - "Fine." 
While this issue may seem trivial, it is not.  It is difficult to feel important, loved and cared for when people don't take the time to listen to each other. 
There is a simple solution to this problem.  Whenever your spouse calls or your partner comes home for the day, stop what you're doing.  Focus your attention on what your spouse or partner is saying.  They will notice your interest, and even if they don't have anything important to say, it will make them feel special. 
Simply giving your spouse a few minutes of your undivided attention can set a positive tone for the rest of the day.    

Do New Things Together

While establishing a routine can help create stability within a relationship, it is also important for couples to experience new things together.  
Let's face it - the fun part of a relationship is in the beginning, when everything is new, exciting and full of potential.  Over time, as couples grow familiar with each other, some of that excitement fades.  In fact, at a physiological level people's minds actually become habituated - neurons stop firing and couples lose some of their interest in each other.   
The key to long-term happiness involves doing new things with a partner - things which are stimulating and exciting - things which bring some energy back into the relationship. 
Not only does doing novel things together bring back feelings of excitement, but it also gives couples something new to talk about.  
Doing something new might involve adventure travel, learning a new hobby, volunteering in your community, participating in a new sport, or simply going on a walking tour around the neighborhood. 
Couples, who remain happily married, understand the importance of breaking out of their routine from time to time. 

Share Responsibilities

For most couples, there is always something that needs to be done, whether it involves childcare, housework, paying bills, you name it.  And in a romantic relationship, there needs to be a sense of fairness when it comes to dealing with such tasks.
Study after study has shown that couples are happiest when there is a shared sense of responsibility.  If one person feels they are doing more of the work, it leads to problems.  When the workload is not shared, the person who is carrying more of the burden feels overwhelmed.  Over time, anger and resentment can build-up and dampen feelings of love and affection.    
The solution to this problem is simple:  Always pitch-in and lend a helping hand.  Doing so creates a sense of fairness and demonstrates that you care.  It is a small gesture, but it has a huge impact on how people feel about each other.

Give Each Other Space

Part of getting a relationship right is knowing when to give your partner some space. 
Relationships are great.  They create stability and give people a sense of belonging.  At the same time, people need a break.  People need to have some time just for themselves.
To maintain a healthy relationship, it is important to give a partner some space when needed.  One of the worst things you can do in a relationship, is be clingy or interfere when a spouse needs some time alone. 
Some people just need a few minutes to themselves when they get home from work, some people need an evening to do something on their own, and some people have an even greater need for autonomy.   
Just because someone needs some downtime, does not necessarily mean that there is a problem in your relationship.  The more you allow your spouse or partner to have some time to themselves, the more happy they will be when they are with you. 

Balanced Lifestyle

1.    Balancing Work and Family Responsibilities

Family-work balance is a process, not a static achievement. It’s important to make the ‘big decisions’ – selecting careers and jobs, timing children, allocating roles and responsibilities, etc.­ that will provide the opportunity for balance. The real task of balance takes place on a weekly and daily basis, even from hour to hour. This is where couples hold the line to protect family time or allow it to evaporate where they opt to take advantage of a family opportunity or allow other priorities to interfere.

But how can you tell when you have found the right family-work balance for you and when you need to adjust make a different plan? Good balance, while different for everyone, is characterized by

Place All Items You Need in One Familiar Location.
Place near the door your keys, briefcase, purse, school supplies, important papers and letters to be mailed. Keep a petty cash fund handy for all those times that you or a child needs to take money for a parking meter, lunch.

Make Clothing Choices for the Next Day.
Laying clothes out the night before helps make morning dressing easier and hassle free.

Pull Yourself From Your Pillow at Least 1-1/2 Hours Prior to Leaving for Work.
A few more minutes added to your morning preparation time can prevent frantic dressing, no breakfast and forgotten tasks that need to be done before leaving for work.

Rise First and Dress Before Waking Others.
Time alone in the morning can be just what you need to get yourself together without bumping into others or being interrupted.

Have Children Make Their Lunches.
If old enough, have children prepare their lunches the night before to save you time and get them involved in food preparation.

Encourage Your Spouse to Share in the Morning Tasks.
Have your spouse assist with the morning and evening tasks so that all the responsibility doesn't fall on one person.

Take Time for Breakfast.
Set the breakfast table the night before -- a good task for a younger child. Sit down for 15 minutes and eat a light, wholesome breakfast. If you're on the run, grab a piece of fruit, cheese and crackers, a muffin or a small sandwich to eat while commuting or during a morning break.

2. The Family Partnerships Framework

The Family Partnerships Framework identifies seven dimensions as guidelines for planning partnership activities. These seven dimensions are:

A. communicating;

B. connecting learning at home and at school;

C. building community and identity;

D. recognising the role of the family;

E. consultative decision-making;

F. collaborating beyond the school; and

G. participating.

A brief description of each dimension is provided below.

A. Communicating

This key dimension emphasises that effective communication:

• is active, personal, frequent and culturally appropriate;

• is where schools go out of their way to make families feel welcome and valued;

• is a two-way exchange between families and schools;

• involves not only an exchange of information, but also an opportunity for schools and families to learn about each other;

• makes clear that families are genuine partners and can help solve big problems;

• builds bridges across cultural and language divides including actively seeking access to these families;

• needs to take into account cultural and linguistic diversity and not assume that all families communicate in the same way;

• is open to families’ needs and attitudes;

• acknowledges and celebrates the families’ input;

• is multi-dimensional – it may:

• be formal or informal,

• happen in different places (both in the school and in other sites such as community centres), and

• use different methods (oral, written, face-to-face, phone, email, etc).6

Family-school communication needs to be taken seriously and must be valued, recognised, and rewarded by schools and education systems. It is essential to provide teachers and school leaders with education and training programs to prepare them to communicate effectively with families in an approachable manner. It is equally important to empower and encourage families to communicate effectively with schools.

B. Connecting Learning at Home and at School

This key dimension emphasises:

• understanding by families and schools of the overlap between the home and school environments;

• the connection between successful partnerships and the child’s learning, including the importance of high expectations from both teachers and parents to the child’s success at school;

• families and schools working together to create positive attitudes to learning in each child;

• ensuring families are informed about and understand their child’s progress;

• families and schools valuing and using the skills and knowledge children bring both from the home to the school and from the school to the home;

• families and schools recognising and using learning opportunities in the home environment;

• parents working with teachers in the educational decision-making process for their individual child; and

• schools becoming a venue and agent for parental self-growth, learning and the development of new skills.

C. Building Community and Identity

This key dimension emphasises activities that improve the quality of life in a community while honouring the culture, traditions, values and relationships in that community. By including activities that shape students’ sense of identity and culture, schools can build a sense of community in each student. The work of schools includes aspects of the social, emotional, moral and spiritual development of young people. Thus schools have a role to play in promoting both personal growth and cultural renewal. Schools can act as a focal point for communities to come together and engage in capacity-building.

D. Recognising the Role of the Family

This key dimension emphasises that as primary educators of their children, parents and families have a lasting influence on their children’s attitudes and achievements at school. They can encourage their children’s learning in and out of school and are also in a position to support school goals, directions and ethos. Parents look to schools to provide secure and caring environments for their children.7

Families and schools can reach mutual understanding of each other’s roles and priorities in partnerships by:

• exploring the nature of parent and family’s role in the education of children to develop mutual understanding;

• offering strategies for family support and encouragement of children’s learning at school;

• organising workshops/discussions/meetings and demonstrations around areas such as literacy and numeracy, home and classroom work, raising resilience and confidence in young people, transitions and careers and so on, depending on local needs and priorities;

• ensuring families understand school goals, curriculum and the social objectives of schooling;

• ensuring schools understand family, parent and community priorities;

• ensuring schools are sensitive to parents’ sensibilities;

• ensuring schools are realistic, patient and brave;

• establishing an environment where schools show leadership which is visible and available;

• helping schools become a place that parents can call their own including creating real roles for parents who come into the school;

• building relationships; and

• developing skills, such as communication, collaboration and conflict management.

E. Consultative Decision-Making

This key dimension emphasises that parents are entitled to be consulted and participate in decisions concerning their own children.

Parents can play meaningful roles in the school decision-making processes. Training and information to make the most of those opportunities can be provided as part of the partnership activities.

An inclusive approach to school decision-making and parental involvement creates a sense of shared responsibility among parents, community members, teachers and school leaders. In turn, shared responsibility:

• ensures that parents’ values and interests are heard and respected;

• makes the school more accountable to its community;

• ensures that the values and opinions of families are sought outside the formal school structures; and

• ensures that contact with Indigenous parents from within the community is sought to ensure their engagement in school decision making.8

F. Collaborating Beyond The School

This key dimension emphasizes identifying, locating and integrating community resources. The wider community provides services which can strengthen and support schools, students and their families. Schools, families and students can assist the community in return. Schools are increasingly collaborating with partners such as:

• local businesses;

• after-school care providers;

• higher education;

• foundations; and

• other community-based agencies.

G. Participating

This key dimension emphasizes that families’ time, energy and expertise can support learning and school programs in many ways. This may involve family members:

• working with students on learning activities in classrooms;

• participating in other school activities outside the classroom; or

• participating in activities outside the school itself; and

• supporting and valuing teachers.

Families participate in the school in a wide variety of ways and all contributions are valuable. Participation may involve families having the opportunity to do something that interests them and including activities that are not directly education-related.